The Worst Video Game Company of Them All

I am back guys! It’s been over a year and the truth is that I have not been thinking much about YouTube due to dedicating so much of my time on other things. Such as drawing, playing games, working my butt off at my job and moving to a new apartment and well, I have been doing many streams on my Facebook page, where I sit and rant about things that are happening in the game industry, games I’m playing, threads from the subreddit of r/truegaming and more stuff coming down the line. I figure I will start doing that for YouTube as well since I like this kind of stuff, off the cuff, streams of conscience coming out of my pores and letting go of what is in my head for all of you fine folks to hear.

And lately, I have been ranting a bit about what I consider, no contest, as the worst video game company currently in operation today, Electronic Arts. EA, or “Evil AssHats”, has always been a brand that has gone to whatever lengths they can to get your money and well, I can definitely say this year it’s been the worst one in its history and it well deserves it. I have no quarrel in saying that I hate EA with a passion, and the hate they are getting now is well deserved. From the many things they did in the past few years since games have been more digital, DLC being a thing being created with pieces of the game taken out, season passes and releases of broken games; EA did them all and more and some that just blow everyone out of the water. Today, I will be getting the ones I can remember, as well as being the poster child of child gambling, the serial killers of development studios, and killers of great game franchises all because they can’t stop filling their damn bank accounts with more money.

Let’s begin..


Star Wars BattleFront 2


Well folks, this alone here has been the cause of some many practices. Shall I list them?

  • Pay To Win
  • Gimped XP Rewards
  • Forced Grinding to be Steered to Loot Boxes
  • Loot Boxes
  • Pre Order DLC
  • Season Passes
  • Being forced to grind to unlock heroes\villains with artificial grinding (Loot Boxes)
  • Diminishing of Single Player Rewards
  • Poor Responses by Developers
  • Backpedaling
  • Gambling

Those last three are probably the most important since these came just short of the game coming out and then after the game came out, the response was getting much worse as the days went on. The response for them became what is, without doubt, the worse game release in the history of gaming that I have been alive to take place, since No Man’s Sky, from last year.

The response of the EA Community Management team on a Reddit post ended up getting the MOST downvoted thread in the history of the website, by hundreds of thousands. Afterwards, it became the 2nd worst rated game on the user reviews in the metadata review site MetaCritic. Also, this was AFTER they pulled out all their in-game currency purchases temporarily to “re-tool” their system (more on that in a moment). And then afterward, the reviews started to come in, fan outrage kept on going with YouTubers like Jim Sterling out right demonizing Eating Asses for their monstrous practices.


Disney Says Stop You Bitches

Remember when I said they pulled their in-game purchases a moment ago? Well at first it was thought that this was a gesture of eating humble pie and admitting they got it wrong and well… read for yourself…


This was ONE day before the game launched after the bombardment of crap they themselves created for making BFII the most unappealing game in years, and from this, you might think this is a good move and that Electric Armadillos learned their lesson. NOPE! This was forced on them by Disney, the company that owns the Star Wars property and from what I heard, threatened to pull their exclusivity with Star Wars if they didn’t clean up the mess they created with the mess of a game, tarnishing the reputation of Star Wars. So to recap, the forced apology press release says they learned their lesson, but in reality they were forced to remove them, and would have kept them for sure if it wasn’t for the Mighty House of Mouse coming in. Also, notice where is says “the ability to purchase crystals in-game will become available at a later date”; I guess that lesson they learned was temporary. No, this is simply a digital bully being told to stop picking on the little guy and will stop for the moment, and then bring those habits back. This wasn’t a gesture of good faith, but a press release probably handed down by Disney read back with forced enthusiasm to come off as caring.

We know they don’t care, and will never care…more on this shortly.


This is Gambling!

I made a live cast on my Facebook page about whether the loot box system is considered gambling and I said it was. Here is the definition of the term for all of you to enjoy…

Gambling is the wagering of money or something of value (referred to as “the stakes”) on an event with an uncertain outcome with the primary intent of winning money or material goods. Gambling thus requires three elements be present: consideration, chance and prize.[1] The outcome of the wager is often immediate, such as a single roll of dice, a spin of a roulette wheel, or a horse crossing the finish line, but longer time frames are also common, allowing wagers on the outcome of a future sports contest or even an entire sports season.




the activity or practice of playing at a game of chance for money or other stakes.


the act or practice of risking the loss of something important by taking a chance or acting recklessly

The discussions in regards to this has been felt by some countries and even US states like Hawaii and are trying to outright stop the sale of games that include the loot box mechanic from being a thing. Here are some of my favorite quotes:

“This game is basically a Star Wars-themed online casino designed to lure kids into an addictive cycle of gambling money for a chance to win game upgrades. These exploitative mechanisms have no place in games being marketed to minors, and perhaps no place in games at all,”

“Nothing currently prevents EA from exploiting people buying lootcrates with random contents through microtransactions because there is no requirement to disclose the odds of winning something meaningful, and companies like these are allowed to specifically target youth without the cognitive maturity to know when they are being exploited.”

“We have already asked the Attorney General to look into this situation. We are also looking at legislation to protect families by prohibiting the sale of games with these gambling mechanisms to those who are underage, or prohibiting these gambling mechanisms altogether,”

– Chris Lee, Hawaii State Rep

No I am not one to be allowing the government dictate how I should be playing my games but the actions of this greedy cesspool of a company should be controlled. By making the in-game mechanics so that you keep on going to these loot boxes, they are making you dependent on this so they can keep selling you boxes and you keep buying and the cycle goes on and on.

Some people don’t agree, like man-bear-pig and always wrong idiot Michael Pachter said:

“The legislators are morons. ‘Gambling’ requires a wager to win something of tangible value. If the thing won can’t be sold or monetized, it isn’t gambling. Period. Morons. Should resign immediately,”

Michael Pachter, Wedbush Securities

Nevermind that the loot box system is by definition what gambling is, and the ESRB doesn’t consider it either since the gamer is always getting a reward as well, where in gambling you lose you get nothing; but they are wrong, both of them. Per Chris Lee, this is a trap, designed with intent on getting the gamer to suck in more money after buying the $60 game to make more money out of frustration, and greed.

“We all remember Joe Camel being used to encourage kids to smoke cigarettes – we shouldn’t let Star Wars be used to encourage kids to gamble. Star Wars is a global brand, one of the most valuable intellectual properties in the entertainment industry, and owned by the world’s foremost purveyor of movies for children. With great power comes great responsibility, and in this case the onus is on Disney and Electronic Arts to take a strong stand against underage gambling.”

Sean Quinlan, Hawaii State Rep

This is also not past employees and former members of EA’s cabal of infamy and terror as known game developer and outspoken allowed Bioware racist Manveer Heir said the following about EA’s practices and how much they “care” about the players:

“The reason is that EA and those big publishers in general only care about the highest return on investment. They don’t actually care about what the players want, they care about what the players will pay for. You need to understand the amount of money that’s at play with microtransactions … I’ve seen people literally spend $15,000 on Mass Effect multiplayer cards.”

Manveer Heir, former EA employee and developer


Eviscerating Visceral Games and Bioware Montreal


The picture up there needs updating, as 2 companies this year got absolved and one, I’ll talk in a bit, is on the way to join them as well. Visceral Games, the creators of the Dead Space series, were an in house project that then got their own studio and then made an excellent sequel to the series. Then EA got greedy and wanted this to be more than just a game series with awful movies, and an even more awful 3rd game that started the trend of adding microtransactions into AAA games. The game took the scares out in place of action oriented combat that took all the tension of the game out, put in a multiplayer that wasn’t played at all and scrapped a 4th game all together, leaving a mess of a 3rd game ending with no conclusion. After they were forced to work on a BattleField game no one wanted, they were working on a Star Wars game that was similar to Uncharted in a way, and then EA sunk its claws into it to make it a BFII like hole, and closed Visceral all together.

Bioware Montreal is even worse, as they were just a team to help add things to the Mass Effect games that came before it and were given an opportunity to make their own game. And then like Jack The Ripper, EA couldn’t stand on the side and let them do their thing, no no; they force them to move to Frost Bite, the buzzword of game engines that EA designed more for their FPS games but were insisting on making sure Mass Effect Andromeda had it. Thanks to them, this left the studio having to come up with a way to make the engine work more than make characters, story and important shit like making sure the game worked before launch a thing to be left for last. Of course, EA didn’t care in the slightest and even went as far as adding it to the EA Access service as a way to get people to buy into their nonsense monthly fee subscription plan to play all their games. Before launch, people got an early release for this game and saw in horror what the finished product was like, with meme worthy problems like the character’s facial animations, falling through worlds, freezing, characters becoming wooden puppets, or slugs, or constipated. A story you weren’t invested in, because of characters you didn’t care about, with a gameplay system that was broken at launch. And thanks to EA closing BioWare Montreal, now there is no DLC to add to the missing plot and no more updates that will fix anything that is still broken. Thanks EA!


Next Victims – Respawn and BioWare

It’s safe to say that you are not safe if you are in EA’s clutches, and some were fine for a bit, but there is no saving these two now. EA is the kiss of death and gamers are sick and tired of these greedy monsters, so they will not support their products. Sadly, this means whoever is left to make games, might feel the wrath as well, because of EA’s uncaring nature or lack of foresight. Respawn Entertainment, the makers of TitanFall, were fine because they had a partnership with EA, and EA didn’t outright own them. Not anymore as this year, the same year EA was peddling BattleFront with all the shade in the universe, were bought by EA and now EA owns TitanFall. Add all I have said to TitanFall’s next game will fail and I promise, this is the next studio to die.

BioWare is more sad and reserved for later as they are making Anthem, EA’s cash grab for Destiny as they are trying to make a game that has Destiny like mechanics and hopes to do right what Destiny didn’t. However, with the public already not reacting as well for Destiny, and EA’s horrible reputation along with BioWare’s baggage of releasing the worse Mass Effect game ever made all in the same year, Anthem is probably dead on arrival already without it even being finished. They need Anthem to survive or BioWare is gone. For good.



Electronic Arts does not, has not, still don’t and will never care about their employees, the gamers, the developers, the games, the fans, and anyone that gets involved. Everything they do is in the service of making more money and that is all they care about ultimately in the end. They make mistake after mistake, get voted Worse Company of the Year, twice, in a row; they close studios after absolving their IPs and turning them into casino machines, and don’t even bother to explain it at all. Just give vague statements and written speeches in E3 where slimeball CEO Andrew Wilson, goes up there, lies and tell you he cares about the gamers. He stand there, wearing his suit, proud that he can brag about how awesome he is and how awesome EA has become and he does it because despite all I have said, they still make money. EA Sports alone has Madden and FIFA microtransaction systems that make them bags of money and no one just stops and observes this is a problem. EA will never change, as long as we continue to support them by buying their products. They suck more than all the game industry’s infamy and yet, they continue to strive and will continue to succeed, unless you do something. How?

  1. Stop buying their games, even after they “fix” them
  2. Stop subscribing to their services.
  3. Stop purchasing loot boxes and microtransactions
  4. Invest in great games and companies like CD Project Red and Ninja Theory
  5. Spread the word!
  6. Respond to the developers for EA and to them, even if they don’t care.

This is all pointless if you don’t engage and vote with your wallets, and I will vote with my wallet and my heart. As much as it hurts for developers, great people to lose jobs due to financial underperformance, EA takes the hits and will have to backpedal themselves. Their bottom line is the most important thing and it their brand is this tainted and will not change, we have to force this on them. This is to the benefit of the devs that are still there, and for the games that we can get later down the road. We don’t stop them now, they will never change, they will never care, they will never stop.

Quotes are from this article:

State legislators call EA’s game a ‘Star Wars-themed online casino’ preying on kids, vow action


Consistency And Dedication

Hey guys! I figured that you guys might like this. And since this is a positive place, I would love to share some positive stuff. In video form! Hope you like it! And let me know down below what you guys think. And also, offer some advice as well to your fellow peeps!


I don’t know why I felt like posting here really. I guess it’s because I have considered this page to be an extension of me, with my thoughts to be more available to those who, want to understand me in a better light. As with a heavy heart, I am here to talk about loss, of a friend, which I knew from not that long ago, from work, and became one of the most awesome human beings I’ve known.

I met my friend Al at my old job, and from there, I started to realize that this guy was an awesome man. The dude was so freaking funny, but at the same time, a gentle soul and a good man overall. He was also a dad, a husband, and I cannot imagine what suffering must his immediate family must be going through at this moment.

I think the reason I wanted to share a few words here is, because Beezy was a man, with a finite time on this Earth. As I am, and as you are, and as the people running this platform and as the people that designed crafted words into paper, screen, or e-book reader. We are not destined to end; we are all going to end. It is a certainty that, if you think about for too much, you will spiral into madness. But think of it like me; think that every day is an opportunity to be a better you. Don’t allow fear, doubt, beliefs or insecurities ruin a good chance to do something, you might not do ever.

Don’t let people say what you do is silly and you shouldn’t do it, or pass up on doing that thing you wanted to do or be. Give it a go, and enjoy life to the 150%. I know Al did that, and he provided well to his children and was an awesome husband.

Al. Beezy. You will be missed. Rest in peace.

Doom: The Party Demons Die For To Make You Happy

“To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.”
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone


I would like to thank Harry Potter’s real mom for dropping by and delivering that quote about Doom. Disclaimer, I…don’t really know her, but she would think this blog is pretty neat, and love you all. Also, I wanted to share my review of the game, DOOM! DOOM is my childhood, fed into id Engine 5, and turned into a trip to Heaven. I wanted to share it here as well, because…I love you. 😉

Without further ago, here is my Steam review of the amazing…AMAZING….DOOM!

Hello Team Valor! Sup! I have written a review of the game DOOM on my Steam page, but I will share it. It is as refined as red wine, only if it’s done in Hell like this game, wine is demon urine, and the cheese is fermented angel lungs.



You are late! What happened, Johnson?

DOOM might be the greatest game, that was brought kicking and screaming from the 90’s. With games like Quake IV, and Duke Nukem Forever, I was more worried about Doom because of the attention the bad multiplayer beta was. And I played it and I defintiely didn’t see the appeal. And then something happened; I started hearing about the single player, being this amazing adventure, with good story telling elements, and the best FPS spirit filled game many have seen. Everything in this game, feels like something you loved when you played it many years ago, but with an amazing graphics engine running this hulking demon beast of a game.


This is a Big Freaking Gate protecting thing…

The Glory Kills never get tiring. The secrets never get tiring. Dying gets tiring and Fuck Id Software for Ultra Nightmare, but other than that, the game tells a rather nice story of a soldier that is being feared, by scary demon beasts…and they need to destroy him! But you are the Marine in the kickass Praetor suit! The skill advancement is really well done, as you get challenges for each level, masteries for weapons were you get in them challenges, Praetor tokens that you need to hire Sherlock Holmes to find in order to power your suit, and sweet nectar Argent to make you just more awesome. I love also how every single enemy I’ve known from the games look so amazing! So fearful and horrible to look at, as well as feel intimidated by. These assholes are also tough, and they don’t group hug you with love and care, they fuck rape you with Hell fire.


How you feel listening to the DOOM Soundtrack

And speaking of Hell Fire fucking…the M-U-S-I-C.

I will buy a record player, and a set of speakers, and wear hipster glasses…if someone releases Mick Gordon’s AMAZING soundtrack on that format. Please! Do yourself a favor and buy this game, and enjoy that sweet awesome hard rock/heavy metal/industrial/DJENT/electronic mishmash of music that was some from the old times, but given just an amazing (this word cannot be stressed enough) music.

Flaws include a weird glitch that cuts sound completely until the game begins, a few crashes during fights, a bit of a loading time thing, checkpoints in some areas that make no sense, and Ultra Nightmare can suck a dead goat’s ballsack. But….

Nothing else I think. I played Multiplayer and it definitely feels better, and it’s a fun diversion, and I have not played much SnapMap, but HOLY SHIT, this one level was just a corridor, that would close doors bit by bit in a blue misty haze…creepy! I will dive more into that, and maybe make my own maps too.

I got this on the Summer Sale in a impulse buy because I wanted to wait. Don’t be like me and don’t be cheap! Get this game! NOW. And remember, God cannot save you, if demons are humping your dead corpse to the soothing sounds of Mick Gordon.



Welcome To Florida!

I was going to link the Steam review, but for some reason, Valve censored all the swearing out of my review with hearts. Yeah…

Take a look if you want…

But anyway I hope you found this review fun, exciting and sexy, so if you played Doom, let me know what you guys think. Also, tell me which game has made you feel like this as well. Also, thank you id and Bethesda for keeping one thing from my bad childhood, great!



Advice for those who are interested

I haven’t done a challenge for awhile, and the one I saw today seem like it would be nice as a, trying to get the cobwebs out of my fingers. Well no, scratch that: more like get the cobwebs out of my brain because lately my fingers in my job cannot stop typing at all with, all the calls I get, the documentation, the chats, and well, everything else I type. For now, here, I’m fine and my fingers are not angry at me.

But anyways, here is the skinny on the advise thing: I was given tons of advice when I was a young boy, about treating people right, about speaking correctly, about being a good person and not being a shithead that embarrasses people the way that, sadly, people around me did to me. And well, I am happy that I turned out to be a rather weird, but honestly, good person. I think sadly, I might have come out to be too good; maybe because of my lack of friends or, my lack of doing too many things different growing up, and add to that, an ideology that makes you brain dead and scared to be alive because, well, you can end up getting put in a spit and burning alive forever…definitely didn’t help. Thank you college, divorce and YouTube.

But that isn’t the advice I’m interested in giving, but instead, I’m here to give you guys a bit of practical advice that, I am now suddenly decided this year to follow because I am an idiot and I didn’t know much better many years ago. And here it is…

Do not wait until you are an adult to decide what you want to do when you grow up.

I have been alive for 3 decades now, and I can say that I’ve been lucky that non of my problems growing up were too traumatic or terrible in comparison to many others. But here is something I realized when I started doing research this week on CompTIA certifications I want to get, and wanting to advance at my job and not stay doing the same thing another 10 years like last time. And it’s that I am pretty under prepared in my life to be a fully functional and HAPPY adult. Because I have the functional part down, with me working every day, never being late, paying all my bills and losing weight to feel physically better and not have stomach problems and agitate these gallstones I need removed. But as a HAPPY functional adult? Am I Happy? And why is that?

Well maybe it’s because I haven’t saved much of anything to move out of the overpriced apartment, or the fact that I don’t have health insurance because if I did get it, I would be making pittens and not being able to live, or the fact that I also don’t have a career. I have a job, not a career; a career is what you are passionate about and you do it because that is what you prepared yourself for. I was in my last year in high school, and I didn’t know what I wanted to do or where to go to college. I took the closest one to my house, and did something with computers because…I liked computers. That’s it. Nothing else came about that, and now as a functional adult, I am doing something to keep myself alive, and that is about it. I am, however, very happy with my job right now, and I will stay there over not having a job for sure; but I spent 9 1\2 years doing what I am doing now, and nothing else happened. I could have gone to college when my job could have helped me pay it and could have gotten my certifications, instead of now, where I have to take them out of my own pocket. After I got divorced, I figured I could start over and I would be able to find my calling and I thought I did with drawing, and I haven’t done much of that either. I don’t know whether it’s because my brain is always tired coming home or it’s because I’m trying to figure out what to do takes all my time nowadays.

Well, my advice is don’t become me. Don’t become an insecure, lonely, ackward, semi-broke, unhealthy, 30 year old in an apartment, with no one to talk to. Instead, research what you want to do, what you want to be, talk with people and work hard at it. And have people around you give you encouragement and have them be your rocks. I didn’t have rocks. I had caring parents, but I think they didn’t think much of me growing up, whereas my brother had a direction and I didn’t. Why waste your time on no potential where you can focus on making someone that matters into a somebody, right? Don’t let your good years go to waste to get started with life NOW. Don’t become me. Please, I am begging you! If you want to do something, go do it, and if it doesn’t work, find something else and become that. You want to be a doctor, be a doctor! You want to design games, design games! Easier said than done, but at least do it! And never stay quiet and ask for help. Always.

Don’t be me. Please. I care about you guys too much.


A Piece of Advice

The Terror only One Hour Away

I woke up this morning to find out that my state, is now the home of the most deadliest mass shooting in American History. 50 people dead. In a nightclub in Orlando; a gay nightclub. Said it was fulled by two gays kissing, and then suddenly all Hell broke loose. And here we are again; another year with more deaths and now another mass shooting, worse than the ones before. In a place where it was suppose to be a place for solidarity, for people who are still being treated as sub human, so have fun. To be happy and to also enjoy life; but obviously some people can’t have that in their lives, so they decide to do the opposite, and cause a massacre, that achieves nothing. All it did was take peoples’ lives and bring a state of terror into the hearts of people that didn’t deserve it. Whether this was a terrorist attack or just some fuckwad that hated gays and wanted to wipe out as many as he could, it doesn’t matter.

Some time ago I spoke about the Paris attacks, and I felt sick because of them. And now, a city where I live only an hour away from, was taken over by press, and the whole world is now watching as we continue to get nothing but bad news. And I’m sick to think that some religious fuckshit will say that, this is God’s work and that this is the proof that homosexuality is not welcomed and that they need to find their way. And if that were to happen, I hope he or she is ran out of where they live and in fear for their lives, so they can see what it feels to be hated and targeted.

I feel even more sick this happened, as I know that what will come from this is more talking about guns, and restrictions, when in reality, this issue is more than that. And I hate that this will happen again, and again and again; nothing will stop this from happening unless there is an actual change to the norm, a shift in life that causes things like this to never happen again. Of course, this is delusions from an optimist that hopes this never happens again, but it happens every year, all year around.

I will be going to Orlando 2 times in the next few weeks, and nothing like this event will stop me. No act of cowardice or hatred or intolerance will keep me from making these 2 trips as, I’m not fucking scared. I can’t stop living because something like this happened, and to tell you the truth, no one else should stop living either. Life needs to keep going on, but I do always hope that things always get better. Silly? Well it’s just the optimist in me that wants a better world.

Until then, be safe guys!

World War I, Battlefield 1, and Weak Tummies

Hey guys! It’s been a bit but I was going through some unscheduled traveling, and some changes in my editing with my YouTube channel where, I’m learning a brand new application and so far, it’s not been a bad experience. I’m using LightWorks, a free editing suite where, it was used to edit The Wolf of Wall Street…so it’s epic. There is a Paid Version but what it has is enough for me to do YouTube videos and I figured that, I try it on a very ambitious project. Me, trying to explain why it is so dumb, for tech and game “journalists”, to complain about doing a game in the time of World War 1. I would explain all of this here but I think that would take away from the video, so I present to you, my first video with LightWorks. Next one will be better!

My friends are gone now…

Hey guys.

I know I haven’t delivered the new design and I haven’t decided on what I wanted to call it yet, but I assure that it will be coming soon. As for the music post and the video, I’ll try to get to those tomorrow and try to have them ready for next week.

But now, I just wanted to have a chat because, this has been a very off week for me. At work, at home, and pretty much all the time since Wednesday, I’ve been feeling a combination of emotions and I can’t quite put my finger on it. It’s a combination of tiredness, stress, sadness and also loneliness. And all of it seems to be tied to one fact…my best friends in the world are not longer near me.

Backstory, a few years ago, I moved to the US and started working for this big company that needed an internal helpdesk, so I was there for a total of 9.5 years. But during that first year, I met a bunch of really great people and these people then became really great friends and then things were great. Two in particular were Ann and Noah; a married couple that became friends with my then wife, and then became great friends with me. And since then, it was like we were inseparable. And things got bad when I got divorced and things were weird in my life, but those two stood by me on every moment. They helped me in ways that, no human being has ever did. My family has helped in great ways as well, but I feel they helped in different ways to how these two did. They helped me in finding out things about myself, and discovering things I really liked, and then, discovering things about myself that I didn’t think I had confidence to say and that was just the tip of the iceberg. All the shows, movies, trips and get-togethers we had, as well as the hardships with losing family and also feeling ill. We had each others’ back and I’m in debt to them for everything they did.

But sadly, this past Tuesday, Ann drove to Virginia to live, and also Noah was there a few weeks ago for his new job. And even if we are talking every week, multiple times, it’s not the same already, because when I come home, I can’t just drive to their house anymore and see them. I can’t drop by to see the game, or watch movies, or discuss Game of Thrones and argue about The Walking Dead in person anymore. Technology can make this a better thing with things like Skype and Facebook, but it’s definitely not the same. Knowing this weekend, I won’t be able to see them, is heartbreaking. It’s tough, because I want them to be happy and this is a great opportunity for the two. And I wish nothing but all the happiness, wealth and joy they can get over there. But now, I truly feel alone; I don’t have a wife, or a girlfriend; I have my family really far away, my Dad on his own thing, my brother raising a little man of his own, and me. Me, alone; as it seems like it’s been forever. I go to work, and I really enjoy my job, and the people and the work that I do, but then I go home, to an empty apartment with no one to talk to, and go out to places, where I’m just looking at people and no one to hang out with. I honestly even got choked up when Noah moved there and I spoke to him before he left; and I’m not an emotional person. And it seems, that I have thought so much about their happiness and joy, that now, I realize them leaving, leaves me realizing that I don’t feel much joy these days. I’m getting back into drawing because I hope to get really good, and playing games to make me happy and cook on my own, and then figure out my plans because I won’t have anyone to help me.

I know this is a part of life and it tends to be a tough break when people you love move away and then you are left on your own, with no life to speak of except from a few things here and there. And this is just me venting about how I feel and this is just me.

Let me know what you guys think. Thoughts? Words? Anything you guys want…let me know.

Take care peeps.

I feel a design change coming…

In keeping in spirit with the lessons from Blogging 101 and and the sweet awesome peeps I have sadly abandoned over the last few weeks, I am thinking of making some changes with the blog. I see myself posting more about everything else but gaming. I love gaming but it sort of feels like I’m talking more about life than gaming. 

I’m open for suggestions like, maybe a name change or theme change or font or color or additions. My YouTube video posting has halted for now and trying to get back to it as well. And I want to get back to drawing and I have been doing it every day again. So safe to say I have a lot to do so, anything you guys want to suggest will help. 

Take care guys! A music blog is coming as well soon since I’ve been listening to tons of video game and new music as well. So stay tuned as well as an impression blog about OverWatch and some video impressions as well including my predictions of its success and how it could fail. 

Ta-ta 😉

Work hard for what you want because it won’t come to you without a fight. You have to be strong and courageous and know that you can do anything you put your mind to. If somebody puts you down or criticizes you, just keep on believing in yourself and turn it into something positive.

Leah Labelle

Puerto Rico – My Disconnect

Hello everyone, In case you have forgotten, I’m Fico and it’s been way too long since I’ve posted anything on this blog. Life has gotten in the way, and the life that keeps coming in front leaves me, sadly, with less time to do much of anything else. But today I read a wonderful post from PetiteWise about her experiences with trying to find her inner Filipino and, coming to some sad conclusions but I told her to buck up, because it is OK. Her post will be here. The abridged version is that she was trying to discover her culture from listening to it’s music, and eating it’s food and that is a good start. Music and food ties culture really well, and says a lot about the said culture, in my opinion. Plus she dived into her country’s history and she is, sadly, not feeling well. Because she found herself not feeling much like part of her culture since, she doesn’t know what it is like since she is not physically there.

I’ll let you read her post, but in my perspective, I am too from another country and I’ve been away from said country for almost 10 years. Living in the land of the Free is awesome, and in Puerto Rico, it is part of living in said country because it is an American commonwealth with every Puertorican by default, is an American citizen. And with Puerto Rico being a well known tourist attraction, place for fried plantains made the best, and music around Christmas that is actually fun to listen to, it would seem unreal that many of my people are leaving every year, wouldn’t it? But it’s true, and with this news of Puerto Rico defaulting on a $300+ million payment of what is a debt of billions; Puerto Rico is not becoming Greece, it’s already Greece, it just doesn’t know it yet. So in inspiration with PW’s adventure with her heritage, I was inspired to write how a person being from there, can still feel disconnected in, pretty much every way. And this is not to oppose anything, but as a perspective from a person that, sadly, is kind of happy I’m feeling less Puertorican and more Floridian. Pains me to say, but here I go.


With family being the easiest one to talk about my disconnect with my culture, I’ll start with that. My family is almost entirely still in Puerto Rico; my mom, my uncles and aunts, my cousin and my grandmother. My Dad, my brother and one of my cousins is here in the US, with my cousin being the most recent since she wants to go back to school and go to a good college instead of being stuck there, with no job and no one there to teach her anything worth learning.

My Dad moved here many years ago after divorcing my Mom, and since then, he has been much happier here, and his new wife, a wonderful human being, moved to live with him and regrets nothing. My brother is an interesting tale since, he did move to the US first, then helped me move here, and then moved back to start his own architecture firm with his wife and after their son was born, moved back to the US. Because they wanted to screw him, and wouldn’t leave him alone and would ask favors for his work and would never be able to become a full certified architect. As for me, I move here shortly after I was married and then I was divorced 5 years later. So I’ve been alone for 5 years more or less, and I still do not regret moving here.

My family have a special connection to Puerto Rico. They feel it in the air, in the breezes of the nearby beaches, in the walks around the town with live music and in the sounds of frogs at night, indigenous to Puerto Rico. And they have their own point of view, and I’ve never been one of those people, that have this, symbiotic connection to Puerto Rico and the people around them. When I sit with my family, I’m always quiet, because no one is talking to me, or no one wants to talk about things I talk about normally. And what they talk about is politics, other people I don’t care about and gossip. And none of that is interesting enough for me. This is only part of the disconnect as you will see.


Puerto Rico is inhabited by mostly Catholics, around over 85% I think from the last time I checked that number. Around 90% of people are happy with their spiritual lifestyle and you will always hear a “Dios Te Bendiga” or “Que Dios te haga un Santo varón”. God Bless You, and Hope Gods makes you into a Holy man; rough translation. But yes, I get this every call, every conversation and everywhere I go when I visit them. And they don’t know I am a nonbeliever, because my grandmother will lose her mind and cry her eyes every night. Worse than losing someone dear, she would hate to lose someone dear, and then ponder on the HellFire she thinks this person is getting. I’ve expressed I don’t by this anymore, and this might be the biggest disconnect. I’m a nonbeliever, a skeptic and most people there are not. I was trapped in a private school that was Catholic for 13 years, forced Mass and confession and trips to guilt trip me and none of it did anything for me. And everyone in my family still believe, and I can’t find the way to tell them. I know they will love me until the end of time, but even I don’t know what could happen. My mom doesn’t go to Church and church don’t want her since she was divorced, and she still believes. My uncle had his wife die of sickness and his adopted son shot in the head, and he still believes. My grandmother had her husband lose his memory, and then die of pneumonia and when she used to walk and drive, would go to funerals of many people that have died of horrible reasons and she still believes they are OK because they are in Heaven.

I’m different. I will tell my Mom after my grandmother passes on. I would hate to be the cause of her passing. Bottom line, this is a big part of Puertorican culture and I don’t believe in it, so this is a dagger in my relation to that island. And I’m kind of not sad about it, since I feel they are missing a ton of information that could help them live better and happier; but I won’t take away that. If they want someday to listen, I will talk.

Culture And Language

With culture and language is a little less since I can talk fluent bad Spanish like everyone there. And as for culture, I have digested the culture and I admire that people down there want to preserve their way of life, their music, their food, their way of doing things. Unfortunately, their way of life is never been something that has changed for the better. Financially, they owe billions, and they cannot declare bankruptcy. Culture will not save the island now with this debt. But it seems like they don’t even care, because their layback attitude and lack of any sort of caring beyond them is why this is a problem. They don’t care because they think everything is going to be alright, and there isn’t an increasing number of jobless people and political corruption and endless borrowing that lead to this mess. Culture-wise, they are the equivalent of sitting in a lawn chair, looking at a nuclear mushroom cloud and not moving because they don’t think much is going to happen. Their perspective is closed minded, on everything, and that goes back to them thinking there is nothing outside of Puerto Rico and that is a really closed set of thinking for adults. I took myself out of the equation and I’m a different person now, and I’m 100% happier. I wish people would follow my lead. They won’t, but I invite them.

Final Thoughts

I don’t hate Puerto Rico, or my family, or my friends and it’s people. I am angry with what is happening and sad at the same time. However, with the lack of respect I got growing up, the bullying, the fighting, the favoritism, and all the ignorance, I was just fed up then. And with things here going better than in Puerto Rico, people leave to have a better life, and that better life, is definitely not in PR and it will get worse. I hope my Mom decides soon to move here, because things will be terrible there. I want to say to PetiteWise that, even though you cannot connect yet with your culture, I want you to know that there are people that are just fine without it. I sound mean and uncaring and that is not my intention. This was just a piece of my brain, telling the world that, a person doesn’t need to associate with their people to be happy. It is a great thing you are doing and I have parts of me that is proud to be a Puertorican with great culture and great sights. I still cheer when one of our athletes achieves something great, and it’s something I can’t help. But there are too many things I don’t connect with them and I’ve learned to accept that and to make peace with it. I wish you the best in your en-devours and you can always reach out to me if you need to talk :).

Leave comments below about this and also feel free to tell me what you think. I’m I wrong? Do you feel similar? Let me know, here is some more information about Puerto Rico’s situation.