My Guardian

When do you ever feel afraid when you are asleep? 

Is it because the past will come back to haunt you? Is it because you are scared of the man that, abused you, tormented you, took your innocence? 

Is it because the night is when this tragic event took place? Where you felt alone, amid the horror of this act of barbarity? Where no one was awake to hear your screams? Where your attacker was able to make you feel worthless and no one strong enough was around to help an innocent smaller person like you?

You look outside and you see daylight. It is over. The horrid deed is done.
And you see your Mom downstairs, sitting next to your abuser and evil demon of your nightmares…
Your stepfather.

Years past and this man is no longer in your life. The nights will no longer be covered in his sweat and your tears.
You survived. He is gone. And your sleep can be calm. But why is it not? Fear is in your mind.

He is a dragon. A force that destroys everything in it’s path. Your family, gone. Your friends, gone.
And you are alone. With this beast. 

But don’t be afraid, child. Your suffering many years ago it was.
And your pain and sadness has mostly been over.
Remember that the night is not your enemy, nor an evil place.
Merely a reality of life, where Earth spins until the day is over.

Sleep away the hardness of the day. And relax easier.
The night is where you can dream of a better day.
A happier time before then. A happier time in the future.

The dragon is dead. Your family is here for you. And so am I. 

Your Dreams.

 


Disclaimer- I didn’t go through this experience. And I’ve known many that have gone through this horrible act of abuse either by people bigger than them, older than them, or stronger. I put myself in the perspective of dreams; trying to bring as much joy as this person’s imagination will allow. The mind is a fragile thing. And this is just my attempt to describe the “before” and “after”. I cannot speak as one, but I want those to know that dreams are a place where you can be anything you want, and have whoever you want as well. While it cannot change the reality of the events of life, they can bring escape to them.

Let me know what you guys think. I still don’t know if I feel my poetic juices, but I just picked an idea, and just spilled it. I hope that this doesn’t upset anyone. I am of the opinion that words, cannot hurt you. But merely provide an outlet for those who want to share an emotion, or an idea. Let me know if dreams do the same for you. Do they allow you to escape horrible realities? Or are they simply a place of peace from hard days? Please share. I want to know. Take care, guys!

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18 comments

  1. Melinda Kucsera · December 9, 2015

    A powerful poem, but one that describes an all too real reality for some.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fico · December 9, 2015

      I can’t say what lead me to write this. It was just something that came to me. I remember dating someone that was in an abusive family. It was horrible. No one deserves this. Ever. But my poem was also about hope and getting lost in your dreams. Where you can not be hurt. And with time; things get better. I definitely didn’t see myself writing something like this…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Melinda Kucsera · December 9, 2015

        We never see ourselves writing half of what we write; that’s the magic of it!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Fico · December 10, 2015

        Well that is good to know. But one has to wonder if we don’t see ourselves writing half of what we write…what is the half that produces it?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Melinda Kucsera · December 10, 2015

        Outside prompts at least that’s where all my unexpected writing comes from. I love prompts 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Fico · December 12, 2015

        I can understand. Most of what you think it still in your head. Then when you spill it, you read it, and you go…where did all this come from? Hehe

        Liked by 1 person

      • Melinda Kucsera · December 12, 2015

        Quite true and that’s the fun part 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Fico · December 12, 2015

        Oh yes. Very fun. More fun than I thought it would be. Hehe.

        Like

  2. beingmepresently · December 9, 2015

    You are a natural writer. You have a way of putting your thoughts on the page in a powerful way.

    I don’t often remember my dreams but occasionally they can be vivid. I have never tried to write about them though – poetry would be a good way to do that I think. X

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fico · December 9, 2015

      Thank you. Wow I’m shocked. Natural? I was told that as well when I started drawing. I didn’t see myself as being artistic. But a writer? That is so good to hear. Thank you. I have to admit, this was a great thing I felt doing. I wrote all 3 of them yesterday, in an afternoon.
      I don’t recall my dreams. I guess I’m a sleeper more than a dreamer. Never have I had dreams were details happen enough to tell anyone. I do however, sometimes get the feelings of falling of stairs and feeling myself falling.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. roxysmama · December 9, 2015

    I don’t think there are any hard rules to poetry and while it is a dark and sad topic I think it is worded and expressed very well…maybe someone will read this that has gone through it and not feel alone.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fico · December 9, 2015

      I really appreciate the comment. And I hope that as well. I hope that somewhere, someone will read it. If they don’t, that is OK. It was an exercise of expression, but if I can do some good, that would make this even more special.

      Like

  4. ClarissaG · December 9, 2015

    This is very powerful. Dark at first but then leads to hope for the future at the end. You’re doing well,keep at it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fico · December 9, 2015

      Thank you, Clarissa. The idea just hit me when I saw “sleep”. I don’t know why it was this…but I’m happy that you like it. I hope to keep improving, and someday, I’ll even make it rhyme 😉 😛

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Kathy · December 12, 2015

    From someone who has gone through something close to this to someone who didn’t – WOW. This is so powerful. As a child I was afraid to sleep, I didn’t sleep. The years of my first marriage were filled with very troubled sleep. Now that things are calmer sleep is a great escape and much needed.

    Great poem. It spoke to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fico · December 12, 2015

      Thank you. I don’t know where all of this came from. And it’s funny to think back that, this is only the 3rd thing I’ve written in terms of poetry. I don’t know where this is coming from, but I really like it. I was afraid it might be a bit too grim and dark and I know people that go through this might react in different ways. But I really did want to make this into something like you said. To those who are scared of sleep because of bad things, but things do get better. I’m happy that you liked it. Powerful seems to be the word I’ve been getting the most 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Kathy · December 14, 2015

        Despite what you said on my blog, your fears about writing poetry, you are a good poet. Your words resonate. Bravo 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Fico · December 15, 2015

        Thank you!

        Liked by 1 person

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