I know I haven’t delivered the new design and I haven’t decided on what I wanted to call it yet, but I assure that it will be coming soon. As for the music post and the video, I’ll try to get to those tomorrow and try to have them ready for next week.
But now, I just wanted to have a chat because, this has been a very off week for me. At work, at home, and pretty much all the time since Wednesday, I’ve been feeling a combination of emotions and I can’t quite put my finger on it. It’s a combination of tiredness, stress, sadness and also loneliness. And all of it seems to be tied to one fact…my best friends in the world are not longer near me.
Backstory, a few years ago, I moved to the US and started working for this big company that needed an internal helpdesk, so I was there for a total of 9.5 years. But during that first year, I met a bunch of really great people and these people then became really great friends and then things were great. Two in particular were Ann and Noah; a married couple that became friends with my then wife, and then became great friends with me. And since then, it was like we were inseparable. And things got bad when I got divorced and things were weird in my life, but those two stood by me on every moment. They helped me in ways that, no human being has ever did. My family has helped in great ways as well, but I feel they helped in different ways to how these two did. They helped me in finding out things about myself, and discovering things I really liked, and then, discovering things about myself that I didn’t think I had confidence to say and that was just the tip of the iceberg. All the shows, movies, trips and get-togethers we had, as well as the hardships with losing family and also feeling ill. We had each others’ back and I’m in debt to them for everything they did.
But sadly, this past Tuesday, Ann drove to Virginia to live, and also Noah was there a few weeks ago for his new job. And even if we are talking every week, multiple times, it’s not the same already, because when I come home, I can’t just drive to their house anymore and see them. I can’t drop by to see the game, or watch movies, or discuss Game of Thrones and argue about The Walking Dead in person anymore. Technology can make this a better thing with things like Skype and Facebook, but it’s definitely not the same. Knowing this weekend, I won’t be able to see them, is heartbreaking. It’s tough, because I want them to be happy and this is a great opportunity for the two. And I wish nothing but all the happiness, wealth and joy they can get over there. But now, I truly feel alone; I don’t have a wife, or a girlfriend; I have my family really far away, my Dad on his own thing, my brother raising a little man of his own, and me. Me, alone; as it seems like it’s been forever. I go to work, and I really enjoy my job, and the people and the work that I do, but then I go home, to an empty apartment with no one to talk to, and go out to places, where I’m just looking at people and no one to hang out with. I honestly even got choked up when Noah moved there and I spoke to him before he left; and I’m not an emotional person. And it seems, that I have thought so much about their happiness and joy, that now, I realize them leaving, leaves me realizing that I don’t feel much joy these days. I’m getting back into drawing because I hope to get really good, and playing games to make me happy and cook on my own, and then figure out my plans because I won’t have anyone to help me.
I know this is a part of life and it tends to be a tough break when people you love move away and then you are left on your own, with no life to speak of except from a few things here and there. And this is just me venting about how I feel and this is just me.
Let me know what you guys think. Thoughts? Words? Anything you guys want…let me know.
Take care peeps.